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For a $1.25

Yesterday was a stinky day. A cantankerous and particularly odorous, crinkling nose, watering eyes, please move about five feet that way, kind of way. Not myself of course, but the people on the bus ride home. Particularly, on public transportation after 5pm, there exists the unforeseeable possibility that passengers on the metro will be pungent to an unsatisfactory degree with a chance of crazy. In the mix: Richard Simmons long lost brother and three dreggy peripatetic homeless; hoary, grayed, women with canes pointing at you to get out of their seat, lost tourists, local hipsters, kissing couples, ogling men, loud mouths, numerous packages, and foldable grocery carts. The homeless tend to waft heady combinations of urine and the decay of garbage, while others smell like a fresh bag of Fritos, and high-notes of sickly sweet perfume hang in the air. In total a physicality of hands, arms, and legs frisking against each other for lack of space. I only had three miles to go.

Fifteen minutes never felt so sleazy.

Photo by Mariano Perez

Tags: Bus, Metro

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Categories Culture, In The City, Tourist

Arrested

25 Aug

…and we’re back…

Another day ends in a bust.

I have absolutely no experience with crime in l.a. The closest I came was a possible car break-in, and even that is suspect since no evidence was found, just a sneaking suspicion that a checkbook had been stolen, drawers rifled through and the doors unlocked (this most likely due to the forgetful driver); but crime here is hard to ignore. If you haven’t been watching the news (of which there is plenty: crime ring busts, drug arrests and trafficking of all kinds), there are the sights and sounds of a busy city with urban troubles and future inmates – broken car windows, flashing police cars, nightly helicopter surveillance, highway car chases and sidewalk arrests. Though certain areas, such as the infamous south central barrios, produced a majority of the headlines for a time, crime in the last decade has expanded through every neighborhood in the city, inching along the fault line of police patrol, making crime in L.A. a widespread experience. A story:

Dear Friends, Collectors and Venice visitors,
This past Friday the 14th I was attacked from behind and punched in the face by one of the guys that hangs out in the parking lot near Rose Ave. As many of you may have witnessed, Venice’s beauty and charm is unfortunately accompanied by violence, gang activity and intimidation. I was punched cowardly from behind without any notice because I guess I had parked too close to a car that belongs to a group of individuals that have made the parking into an outdoor “BAR”. After punching me the offender publicly announced that he would do it again and in his own words ” THIS IS NOT THE END OF IT”. I have not been back since that day, basically resting and recovering from my injuries. I am left with bruises and a fractured nose.

I am also extremely disappointed with the way police handled the situation. They seemed unmoved and did not make any attempts to catch this guy as he was hiding somewhere in the parking. It is both sad and amazing that when a 911 call is made several large fire engines with 3-4 men crew show up, but after 10 minutes all left, leaving me vulnerable to possible more attacks. The guy had a network of friends working to hide him and eventually secretly sat in his car and drove off the parking without any problems. At this point he is on the loose and police are looking for him. Being an artist and going through all the difficulties of finding a spot, attending an unfair lottery system every week, fighting with all the commercial sellers that
have turned Venice into a swap meet was enough challenge. Now I have to fear for my life, since the police for sure won’t be able to protect me! I realize cops can not be everywhere at all times and obviously they are not able to protect us. They are overwhelmed with more important cases.

The reason I am writing to you, is because you all signed my guest book and some of you own my art.
I am interested in finding the support I need to use this incident as an example to help make boardwalk a safer and more pleasant place to visit. You should all know that this was not the first act of violence and it won’t be the last and unless the community does something about it laws won’t change. We always think things happen to other people until it happens to us, and then we get shocked. I am meeting with some of the city’s policy makers to present my case. If any of you are interested in writing to our council man Mr. Bill Rosendahl, here is his email address and website
WEBSITE: http://cd11.lacity.org/
EMAIL : councilman.rosendahl@lacity.org

Remember Venice is not “SAFE” with the way things are.

I don’t mean to affect any fear-mongering here. I’ve been to Venice plenty of times without aforementioned trouble; drank some beers, walked on the beach, paid my $8 for parking and left with some nice five-dollar jewelry…Just be safe out there.

Tags: Arrested, Police

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Categories Culture, In The City

Birds Of A Feather

20 Aug

Catholic Church. Sunset Boulevard.

Tags: Birds Nest, Church, St. Thomas

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Categories Culture, In The City, Neighborhood

The Reality Obsessed

17 Aug

This is Murtz Jaffer. He is the host of Canada’s half-hour television show titled Reality Obsessed. As explained by the Reality Obsessed website,

“each episode of Reality Obsessed has Murtz on the hunt for answers to a particular ‘big picture’ question in the realm of reality television. He’ll explore how reality cameras affect the outcome of a complete geek hooking up with a hot babe; how casting directors find the perfect mix of angels and monsters for the next big hit, or what happens after contestants’ 15 minutes of fame are up? It’s a full blown celebration of everything reality!”

He is also, as The New York Times reports, “regarded as the world’s foremost reality television expert because of his ability to predict, analyze and map out how programs will go.” This is why Murtz is famous. For someone with his own Wikipedia page, a long journalistic resume, and star power he’s pretty nice, and a particularly gracious host.

This is what happens when you order bottle service.

This is area – the club meant to look like a modern mid-century, Andy Warhol loving, living room. As if you’ve walked into your own trippy apartment renovated with bars, coruscating neon beacons, wooden tabletops, wooden ceilings and tables, plus lots of girls (guys had a tough time getting past the doorman – want to order a bottle? You’ll have to make it two). Par for the course, on the left you’ve got ass-cleavage, low-tops and slinky dresses – all shaking it out on the dance floor to the beat of hip-hop and remixed pop hits and looking for the closest table with a bottle – and on the right, mixed drinks at $12+ a pop from the cute blond bartenders.

We decide to head to the back room. A small and unimpressive space (compared to the flashing lights and booming music just outside the door) that looks like my parents basement circa 1989 – with better wallpaper.

Turns out it was Murtz’ birthday (or around that time), and so everyone signed his banner.

I expected obsessed fans/reality star pandemonium; fans were not stalking outside waiting for their favorite reality stars, but there were several winners from past reality seasons (Real World, Survivor, Amazing Race) and one fan named Ziggy.

Murtz said his goodbye’s and so did our friends. With that, it was time to turn in.

12:30am, On the road again.

Tags: Area, Clubs, Murtzfest, Reality Obsessed

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Categories Clubs & Bars, Culture, In The City, Neighborhood, Tourist

The Highlands

28 Jul

Saturday alone meant cleaning. Five hours later, I was only a living room and barely a kitchen into cleansing my apartment of hairballs, dust mites, ancient junk mail and scattered clothing I regularly toss on chairs, tables and floors during the week. Then the hubby came home and I stopped, I was done cleaning, tired and hungry. So what’s better than a movie with popcorn? Grauman’s Chinese Theatre was showing Harry Potter, so among the concrete molds and throngs of gawking, cargo-short wearing tourists, we went to the best theatre – right after ArcLight Cinemas – the city has to offer. Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, famous for their traffic stopping premieres, nearby Kodak Theatre (home to the Academy Awards) and adjacent (and newly erected) Madame Tussaud’s Wax Musueum, is a spacious and comfortable venue. It’s easy to arrive late and still have a sublime seat of your choosing. The movie was expectedly wonderful in plot, dialogue and cinematography and as is our habit, ColdStone was in order afterward, as well as a visit to the observation deck of the building deemed by Curbed LA as the “Ugliest Building” of 2007. From atop, you can view the costumed characters begging for a dollar (for a picture with them of course), along the most frequented of all Los Angeles attractions, the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The most invested of them being the White Angel (or the Black or Green one, depending on the night) out in flagrant dress.

He’s spotted….from behind…but let’s go for a closer look…

The front….

The Babylonian themed Hollywood & Highland mall.

…and in ironic juxtaposition to the Babylonian theme…Jesus. With Spiderman.

Tags: Angel, Big Bird, Hollywood and Highland, Jesus, Spider Man, Tourist

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Categories Culture, In The City, Neighborhood

Sunny Side Up

27 Jul

My hubby and I stopped for Starbucks, then saw this bloke setting up shop. Not five minutes after several attempts to wrangle money out of drivers for his services, a cop pulled up and made him vacate the area.

I see this woman everywhere and always in the sun. She looks burnt and thirsty, but she never begs for money.

…and we’re finally here. Though the idea was to head to Malibu, the North side of the Santa Monica Pier provided several wide open spaces on which to set up camp and lay out. So we stopped here. Unlike the bohemoth parking lot located right next to the Pier and Venice Beach – allowing waves of tourists and large families to set up shop, bouncing past your towels with swaths of kicked up sand and shrieking laughter – smaller lots are available the further you drive towards Malibu, thus restricting the flow of beach-goers. So we choose the quiet.

My size 10 clunkers. Though I annually refuse to wear flip-flops because they always give me blisters, no matter how long or how often I wear them, I have yet to find an accceptable replacement and usually ruin a favored pair of chassures. Pain is beauty, right?

What I look like at the beach. My head covered in towels, hats or a book, I try to avoid burning my face for fear of leathery skin and more freckles than I can count. My pasty skin hardly ever bears a tahitian tan, but I try. My one crowning moment was after I received a spray tan in Miami. An old woman from Chile thought I was Brazilian.

The trouble with L.A., almost always a bad highway accident resulting in miles of irritated drivers.

A mile later…

Another mile…

And another…

My hubby and I caught sight of this pimp-mobile just blocks from our house and I had to take a photo. Though the car is obviously a bit rough around the edges, something like this only comes from love, and so seems endearingly named “Fig” for its purple hue.

Tags: California Beaches, Fig, Pimp My Ride, Santa Monica Beach

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Categories Culture, In The City, Neighborhood, Tourist

Pissed

23 Jul

HAHAHAHA! This coincidence is ironically amusing. As I stated before, I’ve found a saving grace in Jenna Sauers; but I wasn’t finished reading her stuff…so I went home and read some more. Then I found out she took a snapshot of the L.A. showroom I worked for during the first two years I was out here. Hated it. Loathed the people. Like it says in the bible “bad company corrupts good morals.” Something I once repeated to a sixth grade friend, which is laughable maybe, but a philosophy I’ve firmly believed in once I moved to L.A. and experienced it firsthand through big egos and the capricious absence of any discernable morals; because the only value streaming through showrooms is how best to show buyers a goodtime (the more they buy) and if a girl is good-looking, how best to bed her sooner than later (aforementioned ego) – oh, and lots of gossip aka lie, lie, lie – whatever gets you where you want to go and who you want to click with. So here it is, the entrance to my fucking unawesome whore of an employer – Derelicte.

Can you sense my acrimonious sentiment? Yeah, me neither.

Tags: Fashion Showroom

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Categories Culture, Fashion, Quotidian

Mr. Brainwash is French

14 Jul

Thanks to Walls of L.A., an explanation of Mr. Hitchcock’s appearance has come to light. A French filmmaker, known as Mr. Brainwash, is apparently the reveler behind graffiti posters that have appeared throughout Hollywood and particularly along Melrose Avenue. His new project involves the exploration of graffiti and thus what better way to advertise the upcoming, possibly London, show (currently TBD)?

On June 18, 2008, Mr. Brainwash celebrated a solo L.A. show titled “Life Is Beautiful,” another tragic commentative piece on the state of affairs in our world; comprising of piles of trash, police escorts, use of campbells and iconography, clever societal criticism and the defacement of Larry King (among others) in Marily Monroe makeup.

MR. BRAINWASH

Since I knew Banksy first and Mr. Brainwash second, it’s a close call between their styles. A quick Google search reveals that either Mr. Brainwash is being mistaken for Banksy, or Banksy is being mistaken for Mr. Brainwash as images attributed to the first are pulled up under the second. See for yourself. Or maybe I’m so far out of the graffiti artist loop, I’m missing the obvious.

Please check out LURKER: AN L.A. GRAFFITI & STREET ART BLOG

Tags: Alfred Hitchcock, London, Mr. Brainwash, NaBloPoMo, Wheatpaste

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Categories Art, Culture, In The City

Weekend News

30 Jun

Approach with caution: 8am So very, very sore….

Breakfast: 9am

Beverly Hills Park Art

Afternoon Tea: Royal/T Cafe

The Maid Cafe: A Review

I was really here to visit the Poketo pop-up shop, but was drawn to the artwork instead. While artists worked on cardboard pieces for Poketo’s window display and a little Asian girl held her own cardboard tree up high for a cameraman taking photos, I took some shots of my own.

Royal/T Cafe is noted mostly for its Japanese maid theme, and I wonder if they are allowed to hire anyone outside of Asian, least it ruin the otherworldliness of the restaurant and gallery. Although the service was a bit slow, the food is rich in flavor and texture (the tiramisu heaven), and the aromatic teas attractive. I think the Cafe achieved what it is meant to; a serviceable space for artists and patrons alike.